Today, a rather epic grocery shopping trip in preparation for Sunday's festivities--a cart filled with yummy things, but still the usual grocery-store uneasiness and confusion.  I've gotten used to my neighborhood store, and I pretty much can breeze through in under 5 minutes, mostly because I rarely vary from the usual list as I wind through the store--bread, tortillas, salad, chicken, turkey sausage, pasta, hummus, peppers, mushrooms, tomatoes. Tick. Tick. Tick.  Sometimes cheese and croutons and salad dressing.  (I get cat food/litter and cleaning/household stuff delivered monthly) I'm a creature of habit and pretty much eat the same things every week.  But put me with a list in unknown terrain and I'm completely lost as to where to start. Endless shiny  rows of choices and always money worries and uncertainty.  I am far from the domestic goddess who intuitively knows which mustard is best, which sour cream, which type of sandwich bun. Nevertheless, we are stocked up and ready with plenty of food and wine and red frosting-ed cupcakes. (40 is the ruby anniverary, though we opted for expanding to a more fall-ish color palate including the red.)

Already I am making a mental list of what needs to happen Monday when I get back. Author copies to finish assembling that I ran out of time for last week. Orders to get out. Stocking the shop for the holidays once November hits. I try to consider it in small bits or it becomes this overwhelming thing I want to run from. to drown myself in distractions from. Autumn is always this slide downhill and I struggle to find an opening in it or a foothold, especially in light (or lack thereof) of the impending time change.  I will no doubt self-medicate with chocolate and shopping (which prove both fattening and expensive, but what can you do?). This week I found a lovely teal corduroy coat and a pair of crimson mary janes that are making me very excited...

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