Friday, November 11, 2016

It's been a weird week.  Tuesday night I spent a couple hours staring worriedly at my computer screen with my weird stress eyelid twitch and finally decided to go to bed and watch izombie under the covers.  I am less worried about the sort of policy changes the Trump administration has in store (which of course will also be bad) but moreso the normalization of hate culture (hate culture which obviously has been around all along) but now almost has a permission slip to reveal itself. Not only to reveal itself, but trot all over everyone else's daily existence. Even if the rest of the government body buffers us in the end from the stupidity of the oval office (well as much as it can from any conservative leader), Trump as a role model for bigotry and general asshole-ishness can't be denied. I spent a couple days a little shocked that I am apparently surrounded in this world by monsters and idiots, but then again, as many of my POC and and non-straight or non-cisgenedered friends say, this was not something we didn't already know.

So instead I've been trying to find beauty in a very not beautiful world and maybe it's working on my mood or maybe not, but I've been keeping my head down. In  the library,I am submerged in drafting an award application with an impending deadline and trying to think ahead to next semester. At the studio, there are layouts and orders to get out, and submissions still rattling in the bottom of the submission inbox.   There are still poems to write and things to make and other projects to immerse myself in.   Nothing really had changed Weds. morning when I woke up from a rather fitful night's sleep, but then everything had sort of changed. We still do not live in a world where a woman can be president.  Where a woman can be treated as anything but fuckable or maternal, or good for any role beyond the ones men have placed her in.  But then again, maybe we already knew this.