notes & things | 1/12/2024

Snow has fallen intermittently over the days of the past week. I've been laid out with a cold, so haven't actually had to venture out in it, another boon of working from home that feels especially kind in winter. I am also recovering from a cold, that while not terrible, was still leaving me really tired in my efforts to unsuccessfully fight it off. The other night, at almost five, I remarked there was a little more light left in the sky even than around the new year a couple weeks back. Enough to notice, so that is something.  

This weekend has been some wedding planning stuff, including deciding on a venue. Our plan is a rentable grove and a more casual bbq or picnic style event with vows and ring exchange woven in, and ideally, a budget in the 2-3 K. I do already have my dress, and between me and my future mother-in-law, who is a calligraphy artist, we have invites and paper things on lock for much cheaper than they'd cost otherwise. My sister, who has somehow, gotten herself ordained by the Universal Church of Life, is officially officiating and signing off. We're either catering from a BBQ place or doing plates from like Costco, lots of coolers full of drinks and booze, cupcakes, and I think we are set. The photographer we are still mulling over if we want to dish out that much, but I am more in favor of a photo booth anyway. I happen marrying a DJ,  so he is working on that setup to just have some music playing (it won't be a late night dancing anyway since the park closes out at 8pm.)  My guest list is mostly family, his is mostly friends. I already have favors in mind (a nix of fun vintage key bottle openers I already bought and engraved collapsible fans (it will be mid-June after all.) I am going for a sort of midsummer night's dream forest frolic vibe. 

We had planned to rent a shelter out at one of the Cook County Forest Preserves and call it a day, but their website is wonky, so hadn't actually been able to make it happen. Yesterday, I stumbled on a bit of perfection that offers a little more privacy and woodedness as well as a small stone amphitheater we could do the vows or take pics in if we want. Plus a nice midpoint (Woodstock) between the city and where most of my side of the family will be originating.  We just need approval on our application that will hopefully come this week. Even with a slightly higher price since its a wedding and needs an booze permit, it was far cheaper than any venue we could find that wasn't someone's yard. 

Since we initially just planned to go the courthouse and get hitched, planning a more detailed affair is both a fun chance for creativity but also very strange to be doing for me personally. I wasn't really one of those girls who visualized her wedding day. In fact, up until about five years ago, I suspected I may never get married and just be a delightfully slutty spinster into old age. I thought this even after meeting J and dating for several years.  Later, it became obvious we were a forever-thing and he was becoming my best-friend (this may be the thing that was missing from every relationship I was ever in, even at their best) But also, hey, we're poly so why get married if the legalities aren't particularly important? Later the question, as we merged our lives more and more, it became, why NOT get married?  (It occurs to me that many folks my age (if not his, he's only in his late 30's)  are going on second and third marriages by this age. Neither of us are particularly religious in the least, so its very fun to make it something that feels true to us even if that means it doesn't follow typical wedding traditions or expectations. 

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