hello 2019
So I was thinking instead of resolutions, perhaps I should be thinking in terms of plans. Those perennial resolutions I alluded to in the previous post are usually only three rather simple ones:
1. Be productive
2. Be happy
3. Be healthy(ish)
Those are sort of base things I try to keep in mind as I enter every year, but resolutions mean nothing much when you don't follow them up with plans and goals and habit changing behavior. So here is some working toward being a bit more specific in how to get there.
writing & art
I've been plotting out this year's offerings in the books & objects series and so far it includes the animals accordian book I am just about finished with, the hunger palace, ordinary planet, as well as print incarnations of taurus, with its visual elements, and exquisite damage. There is also the unusual creatures box project that needs to happen. There may be others, as well, as things take shape and firm up. I also have wiggling in my head on an cool format for the Blue Swallow motel project which has been stalled the past couple of years, so stay tuned for that. (maybe my excitement over the format will spur me to finish the damn thing.)
Last year brought a lot of new work, so I would love to bend and shape much of that into some new full-length manuscripts by the time summer rolls around. I have good portions of a couple different manuscripts and part of a third. There are also things like the poets zodiac I'm still working on that might be a longer project down the line. One of the manuscripts are poems about mothers/daughters/body issues. The other a meditation on the midwest gothic. The third is sort of mostly about monsters and monstrousness. There very rough and still need some work, but I would love to start submitting them by fall. little apocalypse is still in the hopper and should be out in the next few months. And then 2020 brings sex & violence out from Black Lawrence.
I would love to continue doing some more subscription series via Tiny Letter. Right now, you can subscribe and get a dose of swallow delivered into you mailbox weekly. When that's finished, there will no doubt be another coming around the bend. I will also still be posting bits from the poets zodiac on instagram, so keep an eye out for those.
If anything is longer than my list of writing projects I want to do, it's my list of art projects, so here's hoping I will have a bit more time to work on these this year. There are also several image only zines/artists books underway--florographia ink paintings, the night bloom monograph prints, new collage series. I'd also love to get back to doing some assemblage work and expand on the paper theatres I started working on last spring.
And as usual, the usual goals, to keep writing daily, to submit work more in general. To take advantage of opportunities for readings and such when they come my way. All the usuals. As for new pieces of writing, I've been doing my research for the HH Holmes inspired series, as well as more relationship focused project, or maybe series of projects. The Renaissance Dog girl poems are just waiting to be writen, as are some Black Dahlia-inpired pieces I've been doing a little reading for. All these could and will hopefully happen this year if I can keep my productivity levels high enough.
press & studio
Getting caught up on orders and releases is the first goal. I made good headway in December, but there are still orders from November & December that need to ship. If I could even close my window to four weeks instead of eight I'd be enormously happy. There is the mermaid anthology of course, as well as free standing issues of wicked alice going to happen. There are about 50 new titles coming your way this year. Plus all of the shop items I would love to see happen this year, which will determine if I make any headway on hosting the monthly open studios once again. Sometimes things get so crazy that I forget to take a minute and relish the parts of it all that I enjoy--the feeling of getting amazing work into the world. Of working with authors to make something singular and new.
workshops, consultations etc.
This is the first year I took on a handful of full-length project manuscript consultations and I really liked it. I wasn't sure I would since my previous experience with things like workshops was sort of meh, but there is something very different about helping to shape a book rather than pick apart individual poems. I had done it a few times for friends for free, so I thought maybe it would be something to take on to make a little bit more money (and to go toward all those student loans I took out in the name of making this poetry thing happen.) I've also worked with really good writers and really promising books so far, so that surely made it easier. While my workshop activities have been mostly library-run and devoted to visual arts--bookwrecking, printmaking, etc. I've considered doing some others in an online setting, so I'd like to maybe make those start to happen this year. One of the reasons I avoided teaching all those years ago was I lacked the patience for trying to impart knowledge to unwilling participants, but working with willing groups of people can be very fun and fulfilling, so we'll see where that goes.
library
If all goes well, we might have a new staff member joining the department and I might be able to relinquish ILL duties soon, which will quell the amount of time I spend on that toward more fun things like planning our mini-conference and other programming, as well as some of the library-focused writing projects I've been making notes and doing idle research for, but just haven't managed to pull together yet. We've also been plotting a book, outlining chapters and such, about curated learning initiatives in libraries, but I haven't got to rally dig in on any drafting as of yet.
This week, I worked a little on getting the wording for our spring exhibit artist call down and plotting out some of the things I'd like to see happen. I'm thinking we also might do another couple of events for our Breton's Birthday celebration of Surrealism--maybe a collage workshop for one of our how-tos and maybe a reading of surreal love letters around V-Day. Could be fun. We also have our War of the Worlds inspired zine project--the result of our Book to Art endeavors that will be coming in May.
We're probably getting ahead of ourselves, but we're loosely plotting fall's focus topic at the same time we are mounting spring's. Rumor has it may be a nod to true crime, which bodes well for all sorts of possible involvements from all areas of campus--novelists, film, whatever class requires that forensic science book on reserve. I think it would be really exciting.
personal
I always laugh at the "be healthy" resolution, because I come closer some years than others. I did a lot of eating my feelings in 2018--hell probably since 2017, and don't think I haven't noticed that some of my less forgiving clothes are a little snugger than they should be. I've been, as I said in a previous post, living a bit too deliciously. And as much as I enjoy food and think I should be able to enjoy what I want, in these cases, I do need to limit my portions and just exercise more. I feel great when I'm doing it on the regular and I can really sense a difference, but exhaustion wins out and even the relative ease of my recumbent bike seems like more energy than I can muster. So more of this, and more walking in general. And then add no movement to way to many tacos and next thing you know, your coat is gaping in weird ways. I'll never be a super-fit and actually love my curviness, but there is a point where the extra weight can start to cause problems (achy knees, stairway windedness--things that were noticeable when I was heavier then lost some weight, and now I'm older to boot). So it's a balance between that and my love of blueberry donuts. Some days one or the other wins the battle.
I also just want to be more attentive. This goes back to my last post on routines and time passing too fast. Take more pictures, Be more in the moment. These are all things I vow on the regular, but I feel like I never really get enough of. My mind is always racing and worrying and plotting out the next move. It's had to be still. If anything meditation, like most people do it, seems to be unhelpful. Not sure if I need more routine or less of it, so hopefully this year will bring some answers or solutions. I also am getting better at saying "no" in all contexts and imposing better boundaries--necessary I think in making things a little less crazy.
Maybe plans to be a little less messy--especially when it comes to creative projects--the studio is near downing in paper trimmings and my desk at work has several well-placed but nearly toppling piles of various books and projects I'm in the middle of. My head is always clearer when things are more organized. Also, when I'm home, I spend a lot of time juggling creative or relaxing things with piles of laundry in my hamper, dirty dishes in the sink, and tiny cat hair tumbleweeds littering my floor. If I was pro-active in my cleaning regimen , I might spend more time free of them and less time dreading them. The procrastination and mental energy given to feeling like I need to do them is more bothersome than just doing them.
So here's looking for a year in which all this happens. Or at least some of this happens. Even then, it should be pretty awesome.
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