Tuesday, December 05, 2017

Today is windy, as in banging dumpster lids and projectile holiday decor kind of  windy. Waking up, the cats were going insane at the leaves caught in the updraft out the window. I've been working on author copies and orders and trying to get a handle on the next rounds of books (and of course, run out of printer ink at the most inopportune times. )  Tonight, more murder mystery planning for Friday-trying to get a handle on fake evidence and overly-gossipy starlets.

The weird dreams about my mother continue.  Last night, it was a horrible boring holiday party at a frenemy of hers and while we all knew she was dead, she was there,  but only our immediate family could see her. And she thought this was funny, and we all thought being dead was not so bad after all, and how maybe life is just this contunuum since everything is all so subjective anyway, completely in our heads.  And so why not make our own reality or somesuch--a reality in which she was still there.  And we were laughing and joking and everyone else thought we were crazy, because OBVIOUSLY she wasn't really there, right?  This reminds of the dream right after she died when I dreamed that we were all on a school bus, and she was in a wheelchair, depressed and convinced that this was her fate forever, but then I reminded her that she was, in fact, dead and that the normal rules do not apply to her any longer.(a nice dream until she left the bus and it was this desserted, apocalytic, hell landscape and not so much fun. )

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