Monday, May 23, 2011

I keep waiting to post that I feel like my old self again, and there is a lot of time that I do, but then others when I feel like my body doesn't quite belong to me wholly, or like I'm one step to the left of it and it's making all the decisions. Again, work shift changes during the semester changeover have me tired and hungry at all the wrong times. Today, my nails are painted pink to cover up dye stains from doing a batch of slips yesterday and even my hands don't feel like they are mine when I look at them typing or holding a coffee cup. At least whatever was physically wrong with me appears to have abated along with my mental muddiness over what went down last month. R once told me that it would end badly, and despite my arguments to the contrary, I now realize that was the ONLY way it could end, otherwise we would just keep doing what we've been doing for the past 5 years. Meanwhile, other things have been working out nicely in other romantic corners for the moment to keep me from dwelling on it. And for once, I am not sad about whole thing, which has to be a step forward, n'est pas? (a little pissed, a little WTF?, but not sad).

In other more interesting arenas, the writing projects have been coming along well, and the splitting up of things is definitely working out fabulously. I am more and more convinced I want to avoid conventional publishing avenues on most future projects (due to both some less than ideal experience therein and my control freakiness regaring timelines, design, as well as some format oddness on some of them (one is definitely going to be a box project, and one more like an artists book.) Some presses that have published my work have been awesome, others not so much, but I guess I'm willing to sacrifice a little bit smaller distribution with dgp for more creative control (and also assurance that the press won't be going under or the editor AWOL in 5 minutes.)

In dgp news, I am still struggling to keep up with orders and lost a few weeks to being sick, so if I owe you something, it is on it's way, or will be shortly. I have books from Rebecca Farivar and Nora Almeida almost set to go, as well as several more in the layout process. The spring wicked alice is also nigh and should be coming around the end of the month. So stay tuned...

It's been scary stormy thus far this year with all that badness down in the southern states and now Missouri. I used to be alot more afraid of tornadoes when I lived out in the open country, but the fierceness of them lately is kind of freaking me out again, even in the city, which seems even more vulnerable of late. Storms blew through out by my parents' yesterday, but by the time they got here around 10pm, it was just a lot of lighting and thunder, some hard rain, but not alot of wind. I laid down to watch it and fell asleep and slept straight through.

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