Saturday, January 31, 2009

in which she makes a mountain out of a molehill, or really nothing at all

I feel once again that I've been living the last few weeks in assume crash position in regard to just about everything. For example, all through the latter half of the week I was unsettled by the announcement of a sudden all-library mystery meeting on Friday of which no details were given except that our dean would be in attendance. I managed to let one of my co-workers convince me that this could be bad news, budget cuts, layoffs, etc. on the horizon and that we should be prepared (of course this co-worker also is majorly paranoid his superiors are out to get him and takes photos of things he believes might be top secret government aircraft in his spare time, but I digress..).

He wasn't, however, the only person whispering about this. Even the department heads seemed to be oblivious as to what it was about, and were supposed to meet before the all staff gathering. I suppose fear is natural, given the news everyday. Of course, enrollment was still up in the fall, we've been adding new positions, and while they've scaled back on non-essentials like travel and catering budgets, there was really no reason to expect the worst. Except, I suddenly had this fear that my job was somehow in jeapordy down the line.

While I do plan to leave at some point in the next couple of years as (if) the shop grows, I'm not ready quite yet to give up the safety net...I could conceivably make some extra money by charging for workshops at the studio, or teaching part-time elsewhere myself. But it would be scary having all my eggs in a basket that is so precariously perched on a cliff given how things are economically these days. It was made worse by the fact I was going to be out on Friday since I volunteered for a Sunday shift, so I could conceivably see myself spending the entire weekend freaking out. Finally, about halfway through the day yesterday, I just gave in and e-mailed my boss and asked her about the mystery meeting. Apparently, they just announced that they are reinforcing every floor in the library in the next few months and it will be noisy and chaotic for awhile and they wanted to let us know since it would be affecting our spaces..

argh.! A little more info in the subject line would have been nice...

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