Monday, June 23, 2008

Today, I managed to finish up the layout on Anne Heide's Wiving and get started on another chap. Why this took me two weeks is beyond me. I blinked and suddenly I'd lost time again. This gets worse as I get older, more ingrained in routines. I'll be going about my daily business, waking up, going to work, spending time at the studio making chaps and filling orders and suddenly I realize it's nearly the end of June and I'm woefully behind. Even more behind than I was before. I think I've also learned to accept that I will always be behind, but accepting that, in turn, also makes me even more complacent. So I sit and write blog entries about being behind instead of, you know, actually trying to catch up...

I've also noticed a tendency toward hoarding...books, paper, art & craft supplies, like suddenly these things will run out and there will be no more and I'll just be SOL. In fact this happens all too often, thus fueling my impulse. It all makes me antsy and slightly ucomfortable. My moods are extremely shifty lately, and I never know what's going to come next. I started out today actually pretty happy, but then one condescending biotch encountered in my first 5 minutes at circ desk this afternoon and I'm ready to murder..

It doesn't help that the last few weeks, actually ever since I got back from vacation at the end of April, I'm stuck again in feeling like possible disaster may strike at any minute, like there's just this thin string holding it all together...that if someone pulls it, it's all going to come crashing down..

1 comment:

Hugh McMillan said...

The Fear is on you, as we used to say. Usually happens to me when I'm hungover. I think mortal terror is our baggage, I'm afraid.