I think I've realized that really, it's not possible. I tend to be pretty quick to cut things off if I'm not totally twitterpated over someone. (unless it's fwb arrangement, but even that has certain criteria in terms of chemistry). When it comes to emotionally charged relationships, If I'm not all that into someone, I usually let it go, regardless of how strong they may or may not feel about me. Usually, I'm sure that the lack of chemistry is universal, but in at least one recent situation maybe I was wrong, which has me questioning. Do I bolt too fast? Am I guilty of not letting things develop at a normal pace? Is it all or nothing? Should it be?
So while I have been thinking about love, I have also been thinking about the narrative project, how sometimes it feels finished and other times does not feel so at all. I was playing with the text on the page this afternoon and discovered that centering a slender column of words in the middle of the page rather than just a left justified paragrapgh did wonders in helping someone get through the denseness of it, which is how I often feel about prose poems (or at least MY prose poems anyway.) I did not want to break it into lines, but it felt sort of off the longer it gets This may have fixed it, though I will take another look tomorrow. My deadline for completion (self-imposed) was the end of February, but there are still rough patches. I'm not sure about submitting it or just issuing it on my own as a small edition..I am sort of feeling control freaky and a bit ambivalent about sending things out for publication again and I'm not sure where it comes from. I tend to exist in my happy little editing/creating/bookmaking bubble, but sometimes some of the seedier po-biz stuff creeps in and makes me feel gross and jaded. Maybe it's a little AWP whiplash.
Otherwise, I am having odd sinus pain in my cheeks when I lay horizontally, which has me waking up intermittently and sleeping far too lightly. I am also craving Mexican food like you wouldn't believe (completely unrelated, but yummy). I am working slowly on the remaining books for authors and finishing up some other layouts this week and trying to get back into my daily routine. Hopefully, I will return to full productivity by Friday.