notes & things | 3/1/2025
Another week and the horrors on the news persist, but I am limiting my exposure and, on the days, I am successful (and some I am not) I have been self-medicating with poems and other writing work, With movie and theater outings. With giant pots of beef stew and sleeves of Thin Mints. With making wedding plans for centerpieces and a final decision on a dress. I get saddest most when I think about my own misconceptions. that people were kind and good and wanted the best for themselves and others (though maybe not all the time and not in all situations.) The reckoning of the past decade has been grappling with that disillusionment that grows deeper every year like a muddy ravine. That just as many good people seem locked together with the most awful (which are the ones manning the helm of the ship at the moment.) That there is no movement forward or toward better. Every step and every reaction has an opposite reaction and takes longer to recover. There's a low grade worry that vibrates even in our happy little home...will it get worse? should we plan an exit strategy (even if we could afford one, I am not sure I would want to leave the city I have grown to love and always wanted to live in). We talk about Canada, about Wales, about Sweden. While both of my own parents are gone and safe from danger, we still worry about things like social security and healthcare that impact J's mom who is in her late 70s and disabled. About anti-LGBTQ policies and treatment that may effect our friends. That things in general feel fragile like a web. Not to mention so very expensive.
Last night, I was able to successfully put the finishing touches on EXOTICA, the February zine, which took a bit longer than expected. I finalized the file just around midnight and posted it in the wee hours. This is actually quite a lengthy series, and there are also lots of fauxtographs that go with it/inspired it. I've been thinking about manuscripts, and while these poems on their own go with some of the other series thematically that are making up the next collection. The unwieldy number of them, however, makes me hesitant to include them when I pull it all together this spring, possibly for a summertime release. There is also the other book that is missing all but one section of poems that is still taking shape but really needs to be in there. More on those books soon....
The weather had eased during the week, melting the remaining snow and allowing me to go out bare- legged in a dress a couple times, hovering in the 50s even a couple days. But March crept in overnight like a lion with another chill. The best part about this time of year is its impermanence. Any snow or cold is not too long for his world and that is a great comfort. First green I see on the trees will surely to upgrade my mental health regardless of the world and its sorry drudgery.
We got out Wednesday to Aurora to see WAITRESS, the musical, and it was as lovely and amazing as I suspected, and in a gorgeous old ornate theater to boot. The previous week, also saw FOOL FOR LOVE at Steppenwolf, which while short, had me so immersed and invested by the close. It was Shepard at his finest, though it was a play I was not as familiar with from all those years of dramatic lit studies. (this one not technically midwest gothic since it was in the south, but similar vibes.) We will be seeing another production, LIE OF THE MIND, at a theater up here in the neighborhood, and TRUE WEST this summer, so 2025 may be the year of Sam Shepard and I'm not hating it.
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