Monday, March 16, 2020

a moment of luck



My mother used to maddeningly say, in moments of confusion or difficulty that "it all works out" which had the capability to either amuse me or enrage me, since while believe you can line up things or make yourself ready for opportunities, or think about worse case scenarios and be ready for anything. (hello, Aries, meet Taurus).  When things worked out, it was because you actually had to work to form the circumstances to make them happen.  I told her this on the phone quite often, never in the angry tone I reserved for telling my best friend later who agreed (a Leo of course)  but still exasperated.

As official word came down that the library would, in fact, be completely closed, that we'd all just be working from home for the next few weeks, easily doable, it flashed through my head how very fortunate I am that I gave up the studio space in the fall.  Had I not, not only would I be more financially strapped coming into a crisis, but also would still have to report to the studio (or would feel the need to anyway) in order to get books made and mailed lest I fall as behind as I was coming up the end of the year (and I am still behind on certain titles since , so some extra time and no commuting will actually be a blessing in terms of playing catch up.)  

I can make all the books I want in the comfort of my apartment over the next few weeks--design covers, review galleys, etc. Despite my personal finances crunch and the sadness of having to make that call to not renew the lease in the fall, it very much did work out for the better.  While I'd be working socially alone in a room regardless, it's so much less anxiety provoking to not have to brave public transportation to be able to get work done, as well as nice, in this tie of staying close to home, to have everything I need and love in one place.  

I spent a couple spans of time alone working over the holiday that were incredibly productive, not leaving my building or at most, my block, so this time will be useful no doubt if I can get past the anxiety over what is happening outside my door.