Today, a grey stormy day. I played hooky from work, got into a little delightful scandalous behavior in the afternoon with R. Still, I'm feeling that anxiety I always do right around the time I have to leave my apartment for awhile. I'm a terrible homebody most of the time--like to have constant access to things I might need--supplies, books, notebooks. Of course, one of the pleasures I guess of vacation is leaving all this and their inherent stress behind. Who knew I'd need a vacation more from my fun pursuits than from my actual job. I'm afraid I've become a bit of a workaholic at times. I always sneer at the corporate crowd and their crackberries and gadgets they can't seem to let go of on vacation, but is it really any worse than the person whose always writing, always plotting new ideas. Always notebook in hand, or glued to the laptop. Who puts off hanging out with friends (or good god even SEX) because of writing/editing-related things. Who sometimes can't sleep because of the excitement, the racing thoughts and plans and poems.
I do need a break. I suppose working 40 hours a week, putting out a chap a month for dgp, editing wicked alice, finishing the MFA, and on average, about a book a year when it comes to my own writing can kind of make a girl a little manic. Not that I want or intend to stop doing all those things, I just need to SLOW DOWN a little and stop making so many infernal lists and getting frustrated when plans are thwarted.
Case in point, I am still waiting for delivery on a couple things for the gift boxes and the postcards, it looks the etsy update may have to wait until I get back into town. I was stressing over this earlier, for no reason other than my self-imposed deadlines, and finally jut had to let it go. I did finish the new andromedas this evening so now there are plenty. Of course when I get back into town there will be things to be laid out, submissions to read, projects to be tended to. It's exhausting to think about. I just need to trick myself into NOT thinking about it for a week or so.