We've now entered that strange, bottomless, formless week that comes between Christmas and New Years in which I never quite know what to make of myself. There is much to do, of course, battling with my intentions to do absolutely fucking nothing because its supposed to be a break. In reality, I fall about halfway on the scale between productive and not productive at all. While yesterday I arrived home and spent the evening unpacking holiday gifts and watching some bleakness in the form of Don't Look Up and Station Eleven (and then more bleak comedy in Death to 2021) it was weirdly only the first one that had me feeling panicky and not the one pulled from the pages of a pandemic novel. I read Station Eleven when it was sort of new (I was on a YA novel kick and someone I worked with recommended it as a fave.) The fact that I ever used to read books for pleasure seems an impossibility, but luckily, I only remember bits and pieces, so it's kinda all new to me now. Today, I did some freelance work and packed up some book orders, as well as plotted out the plans on what I'd like to get under wraps before I plunge back into the fray.
Christmas was small and quiet with only immediate family and a raging shitstorm of a pandemic all around. We had takeout Chinese and watched some movies before opening gifts. I came away with quite a haul, including art supplies, new bath towels, and assorted loveliness and edibles (the extra fun kind.) And of course, I have a tendency to buy for myself way too generously, this year of which included a khaki wool coat (entirely different from my other camel coat, of course) and some new notebooks and sketchbooks to try to organize my life (which will hopefully soon be much less overwheming.)
It snowed pretty heavily today, and it was nice to have nowhere to go and nowhere to be. It was also dark as hell in my apartment though. We've been lucky with a pretty light-ish winter that I would love to hold through January. Meanwhile, its the least mother nature can do while she insists on trying to kill us. There are more covid cases in my social media feeds than ever and Illinois has soared up to Florida levels, despite mask mandates and impending vax requirements (that probably should have kicked in weeks ago.) It's mostly because we are all vulnerable now apparently--as warnings of new variants predicted we would be. They lowered the number of days of quarantine and at the back of my head I know it's not because its safer, but because its necessary to keep the world humming, veering disastrously along. Flights in the air and people serving you at restaurants you really shouldn't be in. As other countries lock down strictly, it's a start contrast to the US and I know its more about bottom lines than safety. We may die, but as long as we work, work, work, we'll keep going.
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