I thought of this last night as I was making my way up Michigan trying to find a bus home during the nightly Mexican Independence day impromptu festivities. For a couple nights each fall, they snarl up traffic to the point that everyone just decides to party in the street. Weds. I took the train, but was trying to avoid doing it again, so I just kept walking north on Michigan , through the partyers, through the fireworks in the street, through the cars, hoping to emerge across the river. When I stopped to rest a couple times and people watched (it's a considerable walk to the river) it was still a lovely night with lots of people around--some drifting music, a nice breeze, and glittering lights. Though I ended up on the train and got home two hours later than intended (and still had to catch the train at Grand.) it was not the worst way to spend the night, though I was exhausted from the walking (about 14 blocks total) and am paying for it with sore calves today. The only way out seemed to be through, and this I feel is my mantra lately for everything--stacks of incoming ILL's now that the semester is in swing. My ever growing to-do list. Bustling dgp business. Various crises, big and small.
When I was on the train Wednesday, it was packed with Sox fans going back to the north side (I did not know that Sox fans existed in Cubs territory, but apparently they do.) They were loud and obnoxious bros, but were suddenly quelled when a man pulled a cell from a case as we emerged from underground and started playing (something classical and familiar, but I don't know enough to know what.) He was pretty good. It would have been a beautiful moment had I not been tired and annoyed and it struck me this how most things go. I rarely enjoy things--even my favorite things becuase I am too rushed, too tired, too anxious. Always moving on to the next thing and the next. I sometimes feel like I've a built a life--tried to build a life out of the things I enjoy, but somehow along the way, have ceased to actually enjoy them properly.
It may be a sign of the times, the drag of covid, everyone feeling some way or another of the same feelings..I have no solution, only to make an effort to change it...
