Now that I am in the thick of working 5-day weeks and the swing of fall at the Library and all it's doings, there has been a bit less time for occupying this space, but I hope to get back,. In truth, I've barely written anything the past two weeks, not even poems, since I was requiring a bit more sleep due to exhaustion and a weekend away with no real rest. Most days, I was sleeping well past my alarm and until the very minute I had to get up and get in the shower lest I be late and getting breakfast downtown. Rinse, repeat. Finally, I landed on this weekend, so hope to re-orient myself to saner habits.
It has been a week of being a bit more back to social normal, though I am not sure the anxiety that comes with it is worth it. Last weekend, an impromptu party for my dad. The next day, a dinner out. Things that normally would not be as tinged with low-grade anxiety for me, but nevertheless were. At the library, another quick tour for the SSD office (though smaller than the one at the beginning of the month.) and then Thursday night, a screening of bad horror and collage making, which drew in a good number of people who seem starved for actual-life things. I kept a bit of distance from them and worked at another table on the flood of work that increases as the semester begins. My moods have been extra swingy, and I feel about 5 seconds or 5 wrong words from meltdown. I am determined to enjoy things, so near the end, I sat down and made a few strange collages and it lifted my mood temporarily at least. There is more to do, in terms of selecting work and hanging exhibits, choosing this years Artist in Residence for the library, but this is the work I enjoy mostly.
Otherwise, there is just some tedious work (ILL) and more enjoyable work--then other non-paid work as I get the later half of 2021 books under way, along with the final stragglers from last year put off because of covid. As I read through next year's submissions, I find myself reeling in my desire to even take on as much as this year, so the list may be smaller still, since I am still struggling for time to keep up on orders. I had a moment of teary eyed printer battling that forced me to make some production decisions I will share in a longer post, but let's just say I am working on fixing some parts of the process that make it far more labor intensive than it has to be.
Despite moodiness and exhaustion, I am trying desperately to enjoy fall. One day, the humidity lifted and, right on schedule, around the equinox with it's giant Harvest Moon, it was autumn again. One night, not only did I have to turn off the fans, I had to close the windows. The trees don't know it just yet, but the air and the slant of light does. I'm a bit late pulling out the fall wardrobe, because it was so warm and I've been busy, but I may even make soup tonight or tomorrow. Last night, lit all the candles in the house, turned out the lights, and began to watch Midnight Mass on Netflix, which in typical Mike Flanagan fashion, did not disappoint. It's high spooky season, so I've been queing up even more horror than usual, which is a lot. (I will also have another full post about this season's AHS coming soon.)
This week, as I intend to finish the spell poems before the end of the month if I can get back to writing daily, I've been pondering where to go next in poem adventures. There are a series of video poems I've been plotting. A project re-mixing TS Eliot. The hotel series I need to get back to. Another full-length project that will be unveiling at the end of the year (animal, vegetable monster)--though I haven't yet started getting the final version ready just yet. A couple of zine releases. And of course, October, where I'll be dropping a few creepier offerings for consumption.Stay tuned....
