I am beginning to feel like the little bump of elation we all felt in the days after the election was a horrible mirage. Or more precisely that we managed to put out a fire on the stove that was threatening to burn down the kitchen, and succeeded somewhat, but when we turned around the living room was engulfed in flames. Friday and Saturday were especially bad days. While my little introvert heart is pretty okay with quarantines and lockdowns for myself (this from the girl who never feels like I actually get to live in my apartment and hang out with these cats) what makes me crazy is watching others in the world--in public and social media--going about the ordinary business of birthday parties and vacations and inside gatherings, while the living room drapes catch fire and nothing is salvageable. There are still apparently peoople in the world convinced, after all these months of mounting death toll, that it's a hoax. More, that while they agree it's real, don't think it has any bearing on their ability to live their lives as they always have. More who were super careful and diligent in the beginning, but now have grown fatigued with it all and gone back to gathering with family and friends like we're not battling a pandemic.
So the lockdown orders come and last week, I see actually more people out shopping and on public trans than the weeks leading up. Granted, I assumed maybe some of it was people out getting essential things under wraps before staying home, but unless doing your holiday shopping on the Mag Mile is "essential," I don't think so. I've been watching members of my extended family, weirdly only my mom's side, which is apparently genetically on the short end of stick , going on trips and participating in school sports trips to hot zones and it was freaking me out especially, just as it all was in mid-March. The difference is then it was a surprise and an adjusting to new realities. Right now there is no excuse. Even worse, the lawmakers and protesters bitching and filing court cases against governors trying their best in the absence of national leadership.
In about a week, as things get worse and hospitals get overrun, it will be even more apparent we are fucked. They will run out of room to house bodies. Everyone you know will be touched at least by the illness itself if not you. The economy will continue to tank because we didn't shore it up in the first wave and deal with it properly, as much of the world did, the first time. I don't know what that world looks like and I'm not sure I can stomach it. It might be time for a news and social media fast, but how can it not creep in, even if you are doing your best to follow science and precautions and not be that asshole.
Thankfully, my boss (who is also my bestie) managed to talk me into a 2 days off-site, 3 days on arrangement for at least the next two months. You would think it'd be easy to do so, as much as I like being at home. And I actually did this over the summer, when we actually shorter on staff and things were less hopping in the ILL & Reserves area. But had been pulling 5 day weeks since the beginning of the semester. since we are still open til 10pm and in need of a night-shifter. Part of it is that it's just easier to work there tech-wise (I missed my larger screened desktop and six million windows visible.) Part of it also that I get a little too hobbit-like and I think it's better for me to be out in the world just a little. Also, just a helluva lot of work since we are still pushing to hire someone for the ILL position. I mostly need 5 days some weeks just to keep up. And while our work space is huge and the library largely empty and safe, really, I finally agreed I should be limiting my commuting days as much as I can. So the early half of the week I'll be working on programming, research guides, social media, and such at home, the latter, anything where I actually have to touch books.
While I also initially was planning for a socially-distanced-as-much-as-we-can Thanksgiving celebration with my dad, I don't think it's safe for any of us, so will be , for the first time in my whole life, making my own dinner (and actually am kind of psyched about it and am manically pinning crockpot options on Pinterest.) I also like the idea of 4 days off and a chance to get up my holiday decor. If I go home at Christmas, I'm hoping to get some time beforehand to quarantine as much as I can before I go so it will be safer for me to stay there a few days over the holiday.
It feels like the living room may be a goner, but maybe we can save the house, but every day I become a little less convinced.
