Fall again, and even in this strange year, I am still delighting in the work that I am just now digging into from this year's submissions pool. . Since I haven't been able to read much at all with pandemic brain, I am moving slowly, but still moving nonetheless. Sometimes I feel capable and productive. Sometimes I feel like I am drowning. That it is all too much. Not the work or the press, but more the mental real estate I feel is crushing me sometimes. How can I think about this and this when there is that, and oh god, now THAT? But from everyone I talk to, it's a common feeling, so I sit tight and wait until it passes. And it usually does.
I've spent a considerable part of this summer holding off new releases in order to wrangle the orders from the earlier part of the year into something manageable. Since I can't keep much inventory in the small space I now work in since leaving the studio, most books, except very new ones are print-on-demand, so the lags were getting to be a bit unruly, especially for older material. Thankfully, a slightly lighter schedule this year has been a godsend during the pandemic, since I'm not sure I'd be able to function to keep things going at their usual pace, which was always hectic, even when my mind was better capable of dealing with it.
But then again, I remind myself the import of the work in this world. Especially now, when it seems least important while everything is chaos and sadness. It is just poetry and poetry is a very little fish in a sea. But when you are in the fish, it feels gigantic. Or something like that. This was not the year I planned so hopefully in my little planner so smugly organized in January, but it is the year we got nevertheless. I am still going to try to salvage or savor as much of it as I can.
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