It's cold. Cold enough for morning raspberry hot chocolates and tights + knee socks + leggings. Cold enough that I really would rather just stay on the warm bus all day and ride around rather than get off. Cold enough I've been ordering sandwiches to be delivered rather than brave the elements to walk a couple blocks (even with my leg/back being relatively better than even a week ago.).
I realized how cranky I was this morning and feeling disjointed, and yes, part of it is the weather, and my back, and how goddamned difficult everything seems lately. But also that I haven't really been focusing on any writing projects since I returned from Christmas and that stuckness makes me frustrated (granted, I've been very busy playing catchup and just surviving.) I start to get resentful of wasted time, of time doing things I don't want to do, dealing with people I don't want to deal with. I start to get incredibly hermit-like and anti-social (well moreso than usual.) A writing Kristy is a happy Kristy. Not-writing Kristy will bite your head off (especially if it happens to be winter and it's later in the day when her leg starts to ache). Winter is another one of those things where the only way out is through, but I feel like I'm barely hanging on. I feel like I need to clear some mental space and dig deep into a project and maybe emerge somewhere around March. I just might do it.