torpor

Sometimes I feel like I used to be smarter, better, more driven (in a scary freaky control freak sort of way.) These days feel like I'm all muddy headed. I feel like a dull pencil. It might be the heat, my usual summer lull. It might just be I'm overwhelmed, and when overwhelmed, tend to revert to a certain amount of lethargy. It's been rididculously hot the past week or so. Since I can't easily dig the hoses to my portable a/c out from under the Christmas decorations in my storage closet without a whole lot of moving, I've been content to take several showers each day and sit quietly in front of a big fan. My windows are huge and plenty, and I'm only a block from the lake, so it's been bearable if not ideal. Perhaps, I've been spoiled by the window unit at the studio and the frigid temp of the library, even though most of my childhood and college years lacked any sort of a/c at all. I remember hotter summers in the 90's, summers where the storms would knock out the power quite regularly. I spent the entire summer of 1994 in lying on my bed front of a fan reading novel after novel. The summer of 1995 hiding in the cool dark of the $1.50 movie theatre at the mall seeing all sorts of awful movies (Species among them). In 1996, I was working on a play, so got to spend my afternoons in rehearsals at RC. The past few years of summers have actually been sort of mild compared to those rather dangerously hot ones (I think 95 was the year so many people died from the heat in Chicago).

Though, I also like having my windows wide open , so I may not dig them out after all...