"The Sentimental Meme"
What was your favorite toy growing up?
As unfashionable and anti-feminist as it is to say, it had to be Barbie. A whole passel of Barbies, some with soapy bathtub hair, some shorn completely. It wasn’t so much the doll as the CLOTHES…me and my sister would spend hours dressing them up, brushing their hair, not really playing with them in the way you see on tv, acting out little vignettes, but once we’d decked them out, set up the townhouse, the poolside barbecue, the store, we’d abandon them and go play something else. I had quite a collection of outfits, some bought cheaply at the store (along with those weird, cheap plastic dolls that cost like $1.99 to round out the collection of nicer, more expensive dolls.), some made by our neighbor who sewed and crocheted, some inherited from my older cousins (cool seventies style peasant dresses and kimono tops). My interest waned by the time I hit junior high and spent most of the time daydreaming, reading, and listening to bad late 80’s music.
What was the first curse-word you remember learning?
Oh, my mother has a story about this. Apparently at the tender age of two, I told a woman to “Stop wooking at me, you bitch..” whilst waiting in line at a store. The b-word was one of my favorites, and I used it often, much to the dismay of my kindegarten teacher *ahem*...later it became “fuck” as a teenager. Fuck this, fuck that. Anyone who knows me would say I’m pretty quiet generally, but knows that under the right circumstances, I have quite the mouth on me..
When did you learn there wasn't a Santa Claus?
By the time I reached fourth grade, I had my suspicions. There was one year where I happened upon a Candy Land game days after Christmas. My parents covered their asses by saying Santa must have hidden it there when he was rushing, but I was on to them.
Did you have any pets when you were a kid?
Two dogs, over a dozen hamsters, gerbils, guinea pigs (some of whom met very tragic ends due to weird rodent illnesses and once, a terrible dryer incident.) Various finches, parakeets, and once, a cockatiel who whistled the Andy Griffith song. Also chameleons for a while, and my sister had a couple of hermit crabs and a turtle that ran away when she was cleaning it's cage. Oddly, we didn’t get a cat til I was nine, but accrued many more over the course of the next ten years.
Where did the monster in your bedroom live?
In the door. I was a child who was convinced I could see devilish, sneering faces in the woodgrain… Of course, I also slept with my head under the covers until I was eight.
